A couple of weeks ago I learned a dear friend passed away, it was such a shock, so out of now where. I know that when I heard it everything seemed to stop. The friends family didn't want it published or anything so I respected their wishes. But I still needed to process the feelings that it created for me. I have had many friends and family who have started the journey home. Most of those I knew the person was ill and it was good for them to go, my sister she was ill but I just didn't believe it. The last time I talked to her she told me she was dieing but I didn't believe her, you see she often said that. Then two day later she was gone. I learned about that on my voice mail while I was at work. I remember the shock and then the tears. She was my big sister and well the head of the family 'cause mom n dad were already gone. That left me and my brother, now did that make me the head of the family. My brother very deep set in his wife's family. Made me feeling like I was alone. I remember something my mom's friend said to me at Mom's memorial. "It's always hard when you become an orphan no matter what age you are." Wow I was an orphan, then my big sister was gone.
Now I know I am not alone, I have awesome friends and a great husband but the blood connection is not there. I think this is all coming to the surface because of my friends passing, this friend well was more like family. So again today I feel like I have lost my footing and am sliding into slippery moss covered creek and know I will just have to ride it down and then look for my way back up. So pardon me if I disappear and let my tears flow, but know I will not stay down long. I have to much to do. BESIDES I have a wedding coming soon which only makes more family.
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